The Diary of ZIM!
by PhantomOfThePunjab
Summary: The title is pretty self explanitory. Zim has to keep a... diary of all of his actions and plans. First Invader ZIM fic. Please Read and REVIEW! Rated for possible later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

1The Diary of ZIM! Chapter One: DOOM!

This is my first Invader ZIM FanFic... I usually write Phantom Of The Opera ones, but I love Invader ZIM as well... Here's yet another disclaimer...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. There. I said It. Happy? (Sobs)

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Zim sat down in front of the main computer in his lair. He was wondering what to write. The Tallest had decided to order Zim to keep a...diary of his evil plots and the like. Inspiration struck Zim and he began to write...

_Dear...Diary,_

_Today was a very interesting day. That annoying twit, Dib, was being...annoying. He fell for the plan that used the Furbys, but wait until tomorrow's genius plot. Dib won't see the light of day for quite a while... Gir was also being annoying as well. I personally thing he should not be partnered with the great ZIM, but the Tallest gave him to ZIM especially. Oh well. _

_ZIM's new plot is insanely evil and nefarious, but ZIM can't reveal it here. Dib might somehow see it. ZIM can't wait to give the Guarden Gnomes new attack bunnies. The Earth shall belong to ZIM!!!!!!!_

Zim closed his diary. All of that hard, incisive, writing took a lot out of him. He decided to go get a taco. Gir had really seemed to like them, so Zim went to see what was so great about the thing called a "taco".

When he came back, he decided to write some more in his...diary. He didn't want to disappoint the Tallest, after all...

_Dear...Diary,_

_ZIM just had the most wonderful experience of my life! Who knew Gir would actually be right about something? We went to Krazy Taco and ZIM had the First Ever Taco of ZIM's Life. ZIM loves them more than ZIM loves Dib! He was there, by the way, and he must have eaten something poisoned, because he threw up...he said that ZIM poisoned his Taco, but ZIM does not have memory of doing that. All ZIM did was put a 'special ingredient' in it to make it 'taste better'. See? ZIM had nothing to do with it. HE'S MAKING IT UP! _

_ZIM is a good little invader...ZIM would never try to take out his nemesis' s life. ZIM WILL RULE THE EARTH!!!! _

With that...interesting... closing, Zim decided to go back to Krazy Taco. If he was lucky, Dib would be there, still vomiting. Then he could put his plan into motion...

TBC...

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Well? I'm sorry that it's so short, but I have Writer's Block. Does anyone else find it disturbing that Zim talks about himself in Third Person? I find it funny... Please REVIEW!!!!! I want at least 5 reviews for this chapter. Don't forget to read my other stories as well!

Thanks,

PhantomOfThePunjab


	2. Chapter 2: GIR!

1The Diary of ZIM! chapter two: GIR?!

I'm back. I decided to update sooner that expected...ENJOY!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, yet again.

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Zim sat down once again at his main computer. He had had a busy day, what with all the humans to destroy. He thought for a minute what to write in his...diary. After thinking carefully, he began...

_Dear...Diary,_

_Today was very eventful, what with all the Earth-monkeys to destroy. ZIM also ate two million Tacos as well... ZIM also almost destroyed that pitiful Earth-monkey, Dib, but he sprayed ZIM while ZIM was about to take a bath in glue... That made ZIM very angry, indeed! ZIM needs to get even! Very even, very soon! After all, ZIM blew up more than any other invader during "Operation: Impending Doom"! That's why ZIM was assigned to Earth. The Tallest thought ZIM was the bestest invader ever! ZIM IS THE BESTEST INVADER EVER!!!_

_ZIM would rather not comment on the other activities of the day. School was as horrible as ever. ZIM had an allergic reaction to the Stinky School Food. KILL ALL THE BEANS! ZIM will be back later..._

Zim turned the computer off and went off somewhere to plot some more evil things. Meanwhile, Gir had turned the computer on, unbeknownst to Zim, to play his brand-new video game, 'Piggies Eating Bacon'. He saw an icon for something called 'Super-secret ...Diary That No Earth-monkey Or Gir Should Ever Read'. Naturally, Gir clicked on it. He read the diary, not understanding a word of it. Gir wanted to write something of his own... so he did...

**Weee! I lov piggies! My nam is GIR and I lov Tacos! They're TASTY!** **Weee! I lov my master! He's the best! Let's see, tday I went to Krazy Taco with my master and ate lots and lots and lots of Tacos! My master doesn't like beans, but I doo! They're TASTY! Aftur Krazy Taco, I cam home butt my master went to that skool-place agian. He relly liks it their. My friend Pig cam over too ply. He's almst as great as my master! I lov my master. I lov piggies to. Tim to ply my new gam! Bye-bye!**

Gir was satisfied with his entry. He decided that, after his game, he would write again. However, Zim came back from plotting and wanted to write again...

_ZIM has been very, very, very busy. ZIM needs to create some evil Taco-making machine so ZIM can force-feed certain Earth-monkey Tacos with 'special ingredients'. Maybe that certain Earth-monkey will vomit again... ZIM IS A MASTER PLANNER!!! ZIM WILL RULE THE EARTH!! ALL EARTH-MONKEYS_ _WILL SUFFER AT THE MERCILESS HANDS OF ZIM!! ZIM needs to take a taco break, now..._

Zim went and ate seven more Tacos. Surprisingly, he did not get indigestion. He ate seven more. Then he got indigestion. Zim ran and threw up, with Gir bouncing off the walls and ceiling, happy that he won his video game. Zim ordered Gir to clean up the mess, which Gir said "Yes, my master!" and did while in SIR mode. Zim decided he was too tired to write any more for the night and he played Gir's video game. After Zim had beaten it multiple times, he finally fell asleep.

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Another short chappie. Oh well. REVIEW and maybe I'll make them longer. Zim threatens to slip his 'special ingredient' into all your Tacos if you don't REVIEW!!

Thanks for reading (and hopefully REVIEWING!!),

PhantomOfThePunjab

P.S.-I ACCEPT ANONYMOUS REVIEWS!


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